Short and Tall 2

Subaru! a young man, who’s first name should have been Short! thanks to the poor thinking of his parents, he escaped that mess of a naming ceremony! his mum couldn’t even hold him on the day of his birth! the doctor advised that if held, he might slip off from in-between her fingers!

At the tender age of 8, he had to have his own special dining table, his parents couldn’t stand his constant absence at every meal! If only they took out time to look under the table, they probably would have seen him.

Subaru, he was called, not because his parents knew the meaning of the name, it was the logo on the doctor’s jeep! Subaru! Usually ignored by everyone, he had to find solace in the comfort of dolls. At age 12, he so much loved dolls, or at least it seemed they were the only entities he could offer his emotions to!

He always acted plays with his dolls, and in every single episode, he couldn’t get the girl, he was always unfit for her standards, even his dolls were superior to him! His Barbie Doll always looked down on him during every Salsa Dance! his grandfather on his death bed told him that the ground was far away from him!

He always counted himself lucky as a human being! he realized during his infancy that he was going to be short forever! so why keep being moody and feeling less of a man, it can never change anything, he always pondered!

Every night he counted his many blessings and was always thankful for the little perks of short-manship that he enjoyed so much. Now, Subaru, was never ever bullied, shocker right? he attended a very violent secondary school in his neighbourhood, and if your father is not a thug or a drug lord or you’re not one yourself! then you might as well count your many bruises on your way back home every single day!

Subaru, was so short that no bully ever noticed him, even during classes, no teacher ever had beef with him, he was too cute and charming with a perfect baby smile. There was no girl in the whole school, that didn’t want a night with Subaru by their side! the girls could cuddle him forever, kiss him all over and still never get tired of spending time with him.

He was no Pervert but trust me when I say that he sure enjoyed all the perks that came with all the cuddling and emotional downpour from the ladies. He could sleep over in any of their houses and still skip classes without ever being noticed!

“I’m pretty sure these ladies want more from me, the fear of being paedophiles is what actually keeps them behind the sexual boundary with me!” he always pondered on this, every weekend.

His best friend, Fabian was always protective of him, this act always scared Subaru, until he realized that it was a show of hope from his dear friend. Fabian was the punching bag of the school miscreants and his only way to feel relevant in life was to be the imaginary big brother to someone.

On thing he made sure he upheld was avoiding shortcuts, he still believed that following the rough pathway of life is what will eventually make him a true man, something his parents have giving up in seeing! Regardless of all the advantages he enjoyed, he still kept up his appearances in classes, he took part in extra-curricular activities and even went as far as voluntarily offering a hand in every community charity event.

He gave all the strength he didn’t have, the speed he lacked, he gave swiftly! The vision everybody thought he lacked, he gave in foresight!

It was 2003, Subaru was 19 years old at this period and he had been granted a full scholarship to study Bio-Technology in the University of Ibadan. He left his hometown of Abeokuta about a month before resumption, he always knew his parents would not miss him, “that is if they even feel my absence” he thought, so why waste time in that fortress of a house!

On reaching the University, he escaped death thrice, the scariest time took place during his registration, when the madam nearly plugged a naked wire in his mouth, thinking he was the lamp! Not forgetting, the time he was almost mistaken for trash, all thanks to his school resumption date clashing with environmental day!

Classes start, the new hustle begins and he is faced with more trouble. First of all, is Secondary School the same thing with a University? Subaru was dumbfounded by the audience he got in this new environment, infact it was even worse! not only the ladies were all over him, but the staff go crazy during lectures.

“I wanna eat you for supper and grade you for breakfast” a bulk of teachers adopted this slang into their very much updated vocabulary.

Funny thing was that Subaru was a bit chubby, but not manly sexy at all, he always avoided any form of gym duty, and it paid off in the end. “Me! Gym! he shouted at his best friend, Maya! I would just turn into a volleyball!”

Easy grades was the order of the day for Subaru, he never stressed for any assignment or project, before he puts down the questions, the lecturer has already winked at him and a multitude of ladies dropping their CVs. Now, I really don’t think I would ignore these enjoyments and still be forming I’m a Man, (I’m like a Lazy Baboon!) Shockingly, he would always reject offers from lecturers and insist they mark his own contributions to every project. He always believed that, as a terribly short human, constant hard-work was the only way he could compensate himself for his lingering disability.

Fast forward to his final year, he meets this woman, she is not a student, but always comes around one of their labs to study for her exams, she currently wants to gain admission into the polytechnic. Her name, Clara, very tall woman who loves braids. Now, Subaru! he has always set himself standards, standards he vowed never to break and among these standards is never marrying a tall woman, infact it is making sure he has eyes for and marries only a short woman! but one thing I know for sure is that we can never decide whom exactly we fall in love with, love may be a choice, but the choice doesn’t function across demographics.

He vehemently evades her constant approach and even goes as far as filing a restraining order against her. She feels never more threatened than ever, but Subaru feels more loved than ever! he is terrified that he might soon enough fall deeply in love with her and so he resorts to running away.

He never got to attend his convocation ceremony and almost crossed state borders, not until he heard of a ghastly motor accident that befell Clara. The rest was history after this incident. Five years later and the two of them can’t get enough of each other’s presence! they are madly in love and want to tie the knot in Thailand!

His parents, are even more ashamed of him than ever. “Subaru! haven’t you lived a shameful life enough to realize that you’re still as insignificant as ever? You now want to add more pain by marrying someone who could step on you in the bedroom! someone who’s shoes you can actually fit in!” said Subaru’s Father during the engagement party.

“At least I’m not going to pass down my weak and degenerate genes to my dear children! so thankful for that privilege!” Subaru proclaims and clears his father like horse grass, as he storms out the building.

Wedding Bells ringing and jingling, Subaru begins to have a re-think, he begins to ponder on the lifetime sentence his putting himself through, with this insanely tall woman. He loves her, Yes! but can love last with a contrast as monstrous as this? How will he be able to handle the “you may kiss the bride” part, how will he exchange rings with his beloved? . “Of course I will need a significantly long ladder!” Subaru exclaims to himself. Is she worth me climbing a ladder just to kiss, to embrace, to see her smile and blush for my charms? Who will our children call Daddy? Me or Themselves? I don’t want to live my life always ranting and telling “Stories that Touch”

The wedding day comes and Subaru is still uncertain about the future, his fiancée Clara, looking radiantly beautiful, and as happy as ever! They exchange vows and Subaru starts shaking, sweating profusely, he realizes that he was never ready for this day! for this moment! as he’s trembling, an echo vibes through his eardrums, “You may kiss the Bride”, his body freezes up, in freeze mode, he contemplates running off!

While pondering, he turns to the crowd and sees the majority of them, male, female, young, old, tall, short, all stand on their toes cheering and clapping so emotionally, it was at this point that Subaru realized that his beloved, his dear wife, his Omalicha! was on her knees kneels, servicing her tasty lips for him. “So I didn’t need the ladder after all!” he exclaimed.

Subaru still got married to the woman of his dreams who didn’t suit any of his credentials at least to the physical level. Now, as a man or woman, you have your ego! and sometimes your ego seems to be the most important thing to hold on to, it tends to look like a confidant and seem faithful. The bitter truth is that your ego is just hungry and really wants to feed, it doesn’t care about you or your best interests and one of the antidotes for any form of ego is love! Love will dilute your ego and even wash it totally off if necessary! But it can only work if you allow it to, if you don’t allow love to consume you, you will end up consuming it and defecating it like cow dong to waste away!

Love is not weakness, it is strength that is capable of manifesting in any form, be it a weak or strong form! Ego would always show you the weakness in everything that comes your way, but love, true love to your fellow man or woman would always show you Strength in Compassion and Sincerity!

There is no need to be feeling insecure about yourself, when your partner has declared love for you, obviously most people would have already factored in your flaws and insecurities into the equation before choosing to fall deeply in love with you! Looool! as humans there is always a level of insecurity, its nature’s way of taming us! but always keep it diluted! Love You All! Pls Subscribe, Like and Share!





Written by Stephen Uba

I am the Pot of Beans behind Waterybeans.Com.

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