The Small Things that our Brains take too much Time to Process.

Think 2

            Now, let’s be honest, our brain does a lot of thinking and makes decisions very quickly. Even though your IQ is low, I really don’t think your brain will process information for more than 1-2 seconds “winks”. But in life, nothing is perfect and so is no one, loooool! So, no matter how smart you think you may be, some very simple things just take you too much time to take quick action on. You’re always amazed how you often fail to handle these situations as quick as required and later on we all tend to accept things that way, “come on, it’s not like its a do or die affair, and it doesn’t necessarily mean you’re a Dumbo, infact you may just be as smart as Albert Einstein, but these few tasks just don’t flow well with your intellectual prowess”.  

Brain 1

            Let’s quickly/not quickly “wink” dive straight into these weird things we keep struggling with:

–          Telling the Time: Whether you like it or not, telling the time will always be something that may sometimes either confuse you or just take you an absurd amount of time to figure out. This doesn’t mean you do not fully know how to tell the time, looool! But whenever someone asks you “My G, please what’s the time?” let’s be very honest, if you’re not using a digital watch, then you’ll probably be staring at your watch for some seconds, probably twisting your neck/head and trying to calculate the angles the hands of the clock are positioned in. That is when you will now be doing countdown, “its 12. errrrm 13, sorry 12. 12, or rather 12.11, yes yes, its around 12.10 sha, loooooool!”.

By the time you have finished telling him/her the time, the Bus would have carried their last customer and zoomed off. Sometimes you will be checking the clock and then someone beside you will ask you for the time (something that you were just looking at ooooh), it will still take you like 10 seconds to stare at the clock and figure out whether the hands are pointing at quarter to 3 or quarter after 3 or 45mins after 2, (this always keeps happening to me mehn, loooool!).

Clock 2

–          Distinguishing Between Left and Right Direction: Now you’re walking on the road and someone comes to ask you directions to a particular street/location. Don’t lie, the first thing your Brain will do is to start murmuring “oooooh! which kind wahala (trouble) be this now” then you will now start using the compass in your head to distinguish between the left and right side of the road and all the positions of roundabout and junctions around that corner, loooool!

Think 6


Infact, sometimes the thing gets so bad that you will now be using your left and right hand to tell the directions to the place. This is when you’ll start remembering that you eat and write with your right hand, so the junction facing the direction of your right hand is obviously the right corner, after all this wahala (trouble) in your head, your brain will now come to the conclusion that you need to tell the person that he/she should turn right to get to “Sesame Street”, looooooool!

Think 8

All these hectic processes still reflect in your daily activities e.g. when crossing the road, when following someone’s directions, when going on errands for your parents, when going somewhere for the first time, when directing a taxi man to your school, house or work place, loooool! (even in your exams, we still get haunted by this left and right problems). The funny thing is that, going through this doesn’t mean you’re a dumb person, it is just one of the weird things our complex brains can get over (kinda like that Ex, you can’t seem to stop thinking about, “winks”).

Think 4Think 3

–          Greeting People (Especially Elders): Remember the last Mama/Baba, you bowed your head for/prostrated for (lied down for, cuz there is always one cultural oversabi (over doer) amongst us loool!). I want you to think deep and remember how many times you greeted that Mama or Baba, was it just more than once or like five times or just probably only once. After reminiscing about this, you’ll discover that most of the time or sometimes, when we are greeting people we tend to make mistakes with the allocation of the salutation as regards the precise time of the day. When we just wake up, even though it may be in the afternoon, we will be busy telling people “Goodmorning Ma/Sir”, sometimes in the afternoon around 3/4 0,Clock we will be saying “Good Evening Ma/Sir”, in the evening we will now be contemplating whether to tell the person “Good Evening/Good Night, loooool!”. The annoying thing about this, is that we even randomly make the mistakes, you could say Good Morning even in the night!, it’s very annoying but it comes out of the mouth anyways, “winks” (you will be like “Good Afternoon Ma, Sorry Good Eve, Oooh, Sorry Good Morning, you’ll even murmur Good Night! in your mind, all join na greeting jare (isn’t it), looool! Good Day, Good Everything!).

Think 7

–          Using the Clock to tell Positioning: Now for reals, this one is the worst of them all, loool! Whenever you see these things in movies, it looks simple until that faithful day you decide to try it for yourself. You might probably be with a friend in a canteen having snacks (some chips and a coke) and then a madly sexy babe passes by to grab some lunch, you will now carry your big mouth and start telling your innocent friend “Guy, see that fine babe” he will be like “Bro where?”, you will now mess up and say “Guy look, 11 0,Clock” (like for reals, you whaaaaaat?, looool!).

The poor friend will now be stressing his slow brain and shaking his big head, trying to decipher this massive code you’ve given him to unlock, he will start thinking of the Clock in the Parlour of his house and start measuring where number 11 is positioned,

after all these he will still have to relate the position of the 11 to his environment (the canteen) and where he is sitting with you (the Table) in the canteen and the food stands available, loooool! It hasn’t even ended cuz he will still have to target the hand of the clock to the direction of this “supposed madly fine babe”. I assure you that by the time he is done, the lady would have bought her chow and even given another guy her number and left, loooooooooool!

Think 10

What you will notice from all these examples and experiences are that, we humans are very smart but at the same time are so prone to making very foolish mistakes and getting so unnecessarily confused with the smallest of things. But that don’t matter, cuz we are not perfect mehn, what really matter, is when we constantly keep being the best version of ourselves everyday we wake up and yawn with our smelly mouths, loooool! The ultimate importance, is the way we treat people and show love, that should be our main concern and never all these so called flaws of ours. If you’re reading this, then never forget that you’re Gold and you possess a very powerful and blessed mind irrespective of were society may allocate/place your “supposed kind”. Love you all! Kisses! Muah! Loooool!

Clock 4

Written by Stephen Uba

I am the Pot of Beans behind Waterybeans.Com.

One comment

  1. Uba, You are an amazing writer, so talented.
    More people should read your blog. Do something about that. 😨😨


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